Hillary Clinton

Okay, Mrs. Clinton, you ran a fine campaign. You showed everybody that America is ready for a female president. The only question is, are you ready to be a female?

For the first half of this campaign, you rode the soiled coattails of the Clinton name. For the second half of the campaign, you have ridden Obama into the ground. But the entirety of your campaign, with the exception of one tiny moment, has had nothing to do with you.

America is ready for a female presidential candidate who acts like a woman instead of like a male presidential candidate. And it's not because they don't believe a woman can be every bit as authoritative as a male presidential candidate, it's because they don't even like male presidential candidates. Voters like candidates who appear to be real people (see your husband). But for 99.99% of your campaign, you've chosen to carry yourself like a male presidential candidate.

The only time you acted like a woman, and the only reason Obama hasn't completely iced the nomination, was during that one interview when you actually showed a genuine emotion. You talked about eating pizza. You spoke at a normal volume. You did not, contrary to media reports, tear up. You just seemed real. For you to win the presidential election, you need to seem human a lot more frequently than once every 15 years.

Actually, there was one other time when you seemed human, and that was when you said that no matter which Democrat won the nomination, the nation would be in good hands. Well . . . I could not care less if you or Obama gets the nomination. If you don't quit now, neither of you has a shot at the White House.

So act like a real person and quit. It worked for Al Gore. He won an Oscar, a Grammy, and a Nobel Prize. That could be you in five years. If Al Gore can make people think he's human, there's hope for anyone (or anything). That's my advice . . . even though you didn't ask.